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FORGIVE OR ELSE !
Jesus taught His followers to
include forgiveness in their daily prayers. Along with the request for
daily bread, they should pray:
“Forgive us the wrong we have done, as we have forgiven those who have wronged us” (Matthew 6:12 N.E.B.).
Recognizing the brokenness of our world, Jesus taught his followers to anticipate two daily needs:
1. The need to receive forgiveness
2. The need to offer forgiveness.
Jesus knew there would be
occasions (daily) when they would sin against God (and need to receive
His forgiveness) and occasions when they would be sinned against (and
need to offer forgiveness).
If we ignore either one of
these needs, the results are personally and relationally destructive. A
failure to receive forgiveness results in unresolved guilt. A failure to offer forgiveness results in unresolved anger. Unresolved
guilt and unresolved anger are physically, emotionally, and spiritually
debilitating. They also easily multiply into other sins because they
alienate us from God and other people (Hebrews 12:15).
Forgiving others and God’s forgiveness of your sins
After presenting His guide for
daily prayer, Jesus had more to say about forgiveness. Perhaps he sensed
a need for additional clarity about just how important forgiveness is
to God. Jesus warned, “For if you forgive
men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive
you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not
forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:14-15).
Forgive, or else!
Does this strike you as a
“Forgive, or else…” kind of warning? It certainly qualifies as one of
the hard sayings of Jesus. “How can this be?” we ask. Is Jesus teaching
that there is a conditional relationship between the forgiveness that we offer to others and the forgiveness we receive from God? Is he saying that God will withhold forgiveness from us if we refuse to forgive others? Yes. This much is clear. In another place, Jesus said, “And
when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive
him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins” (Mark
11:25).
Quid pro quo
What do you find confusing
about a conditional relationship between your act of forgiving and
God’s forgiveness of your sins? Does it appear to teach that we earn or
merit God’s forgiveness by forgiving others? Does it contradict a gospel
of grace? Is there a quid pro qo arrangement (a favor for a favor) in
the gospel? I thought our salvation was based on God’s unmerited favor
in Jesus Christ. What Jesus teaches appears to be a works based approach
to God.
Don’t confuse the order in the gospel:
The key to resolving what feels
like a tension to us is to understand what we receive in the gospel of
God’s grace and to keep first things first. In the order of the gospel,
forgiveness of our sins is so great that God expects forgiven people to forgive others (See: Matthew 18:23-32; Ephesians 4:31-32; Colossians 3:13). God’s forgiveness of our sins then is the basis for
our forgiveness of others. So it would look like this: Since God has so
graciously forgiven your sins by lovingly bearing the just penalty of
them at the cross (II Corinthians 5:18-21), He expects you to forgive as
He forgave you. If, in daily experience, as a forgiven disciple of
Christ, you refuse to forgive those who sin against you, don’t come
talking to God about your need for His forgiveness. This is the order of
the gospel.
The Apostle Paul had this order in mind when he wrote:
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as
well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other,
tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has
forgiven you” (Ephesians 4:31-32, NLT).
Anger, bitterness……idolatry
We must not gloss over the urgent warning from our Lord in Matthew 6:14-15. The spiritual consequences of withholding forgiveness are significant. In
fact, this may be one of the primary reasons why many followers of
Christ are not experiencing the joy and fulness of life in Christ. A
little root of bitterness is personally troubling and poisonously
infectious. When we’ve been hurt we become vulnerable to anger and angry people are vulnerable to bitterness.
Anger gains full hold when it turns into bitterness and bitter people
are difficult to help. God pictured anger as a vicious animal looking to
pounce its’ prey (Genesis 4:6-7). We must deal with our anger before it becomes bitterness (see: Hebrews 12:15; Ephesians 4:26-27). When bitterness is a fully entrenched condition of the heart, it is more difficult to dislodge. Bitterness for many people has become a form of idolatry that rules their hearts in place of God. To
gain freedom, we must see bitterness as a protective mechanism used to
guard our cherished resentments and we must confess it as idolatry.
A bad attitude toward God?
Sometimes the resentments we
hold have a subtle line directed at God. After all, God could have
changed things but evidently chose not to! But those who stay connected
to the Christian community typically conceal their attitude toward God behind a veneer of expected Christian gregariousness. I encounter this often when I travel and teach on forgiveness themes. I am usually approached with general questions about “why God would allow…?” Then, as I probe, I find out that the issue is more personal. We must not take lightly the dangers of allowing our hearts to become resentful toward God. The father in the book of Proverbs warned his son about the danger of a bad attitude toward God. ”My
son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline and do not resent his
rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves” (Proverbs 3:11-12).
The father wisely offered advanced notice to his son that life will not
always turn out the way you think it should. The father had already
told his son to trust God with all of his heart and acknowledge God in
all of his ways (proverbs 3:5-6).
But when trials and hardships come, and one feels helpless to change
his circumstances, God becomes an easy target of a resentful heart.
Many centuries later the writer of the New Testament book of Hebrews
treated this father’s advice as God’s enduring word to first century
believers (see Hebrews 12:1-15). They
too stood in danger of misunderstanding their hardships (i. e. hostile
treatment from sinful men) and becoming resentful and bitter toward God.
The point:
The teaching of Jesus is a firm
reminder that an unforgiving heart contradicts the gospel and disrupts
spiritual progress (Philippians 2:12-13). The way out of unforgiveness,
resentment and anger is to meditate continuously on the greatness of
God’s forgiveness of your sins— on the gospel of grace).
Reflect on these great words:
“If we confess our sins, he is
faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all
unrighteousness.” “…if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the
Father in our defense—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One. He is the atoning
sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of
the whole world” (I John 1:9;2:1-2)
“Blessed is he whose
transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man
whose sin the Lord does not count against him and in whose spirit is no
deceit” (Psalm 32:1-2).
“The Lord is compassionate and
gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always
accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as
our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as
the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who
fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our
transgressions from us. As a father has compassion on his children, so
the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are
formed, he remembers that we are dust” (Psalm 103:8-14).
Note:
Don’t confuse forgiveness and reconciliation. Some people struggle to
forgive because they think forgiveness always means immediate
restoration to an offender. It does not.
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Unforgiveness (cupofblessing.wordpress.com)
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