FOARTE URGENT SI IMPORTANT RECALL

Important Recall

Regardless of make or year, all units known as "human beings" are being
recalled by the Manufacturer. This is due to a malfunction in the
original prototype units code named "Adam" and "Eve" resulting in the
reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units.
This defect is technically termed, "Serious Internal Non-morality," but
more commonly known as "SIN."
Some of the symptoms of the SIN defect:
Loss of direction
Lack of peace and joy
Depression
Foul vocal emissions
Selfishness
Ingratitude
Fearfulness
Rebellion
Jealousy
The Manufacturer is providing factory authorized repair service free of
charge to correct the SIN defect. The Repair Technician, Jesus Christ,
has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering
cost of these repairs. To repeat, there is no fee required.
The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once
connected please upload the burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE
procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Christ,
into the heart component of the human unit. No matter how big or small
the SIN defect is, Christ will replace it with:
Love,
Joy
Peace
Kindness
Goodness
Faithfulness
Gentleness
Patience
Self-control
Please see the operating manual, HOLY BIBLE, for further details on the
use of these fixes. As an added upgrade, the Manufacturer has made
available to all repaired units a facility enabling direct monitoring
and assistance from the resident Maintenance Technician, the Holy
Ghost. Repaired units need only make Him welcome and He will take up
residence on the premises.
WARNING: Continuing to operate a human being unit without corrections
voids the Manufacturer's warranty, exposing the unit to dangers and
problems too numerous to list, and will ultimately result in the human
unit being incinerated.
Thank you for your attention. Please assist by notifying others of this
important recall notice.